The invitation to 'Mr. Scott Fraser and Madam'
If you want to know how important weddings are in this country you need only consider a comment from a local hotel owner. He told us that the smallest Khmer wedding he had been to was his own, and there were 300 guests.
Weddings traditionally are three-day affairs, although modern practicality has cut urban weddings down to a day and a half. They are packed with rituals and rites, some for immediate family, some involving close relatives and friends, and some for, it seems, the entire town. We have been invited to several, but had always been out of town or otherwise unable to attend. We were therefore happy that when the invite came from our colleague Ek Molinda (or Linda, as she is known) we were thrilled that our calendar was clear.
We were also happy that we had an invite not only to the large reception the evening of the big event, but to the important groom’s procession to the bride’s house. At 7 am on the wedding day the groom’s family and friends walk in procession to the bride’s house bearing trays of fruit, meat, drinks and dessert.
Everyone gathers under a tent and the presentation of the groom and bride begins. At Linda’s wedding a slick MC warmed the crowd up, followed by a pair of Apsara dancers. The bride’s family then sat at the front to receive a formal offering of grapes, the symbolic offering of the trays of food brought by the groom’s family.
It's hard to stay interested in every moment of a wedding
Gongs then sounded, calling the bride out of the house, and the groom and his men joined Linda and her bridesmaids for a ceremonial passing of flowers. The bride and groom formally walked down the aisle carrying the flowers. They then retired to the house, followed by a procession of guests taking their gifts of food to the door of the house.
It wouldn’t be an event in Cambodia without food, so everyone then sat down to a breakfast of bobor (rice soup) before heading back home.
The evening reception was at a location well known to us – Victory Club, the town swimming pool. The large deck is perfect for big wedding crowds. While the morning event was definitely all-Khmer, western influences crept into the reception.
(click on the images for a better view)
Guests are greeted by the newlyweds and their families and led to tables to make their way through an eight-course meal. The newlyweds then come in, the bride wearing her sixth or seventh dress of the day, in Linda’s case a traditional white western-style gown.
There was a procession of the couple and their families three times around a large arrangement of fruit (these days often replaced with a wedding cake). They then took to the stage to thank the guests, and the bride threw the bouquet (caught by a quite-thrilled young man). The couple took the first dance on stage, then the wedding party did a spin around the floor to the tune of ‘Battambang’, a famous (in Cambodia) song about our home town in Cambodia.
As you can imagine, weddings are extremely expensive, thousands of dollars, often putting the parents (generally of the groom) into significant debt. On the upside, the tradition is for guests to leave $5 or $10 (in the envelope provided to you at your table) for the newlyweds – with 500 guests that’s a pretty nice grubstake for a new marriage.
With twenty-plus years in the wine business and event management under our belts we've made a lateral career move. We are in Cambodia for two years to transfer some of our business skills and experience to the local community and to learn as much as we can from them.
